At Hireup, we know that having honest conversations is part of any support relationship, even long-term ones. That’s why it’s important to develop strong communication skills, to help you navigate having these conversations and build great relationships.
Whether it's addressing performance issues, navigating conflicts or differences, requesting changes or discussing sensitive topics, these conversations require a delicate balance of empathy, honesty, respect, active listening and clarity.
Here's how you can approach these discussions in a way that increases the likelihood of them going well.
Remember, it’s okay to feel nervous about these conversations. Take your time, be kind to yourself, and know that you’re not alone.
Prepare and reflect
Before having a difficult conversation, take the time to prepare. Reflect on the purpose of the conversation and what you hope to achieve. It's important that you are able to clearly explain these two things:
- What happened
- How it made you feel
Do your best to consider the other person's perspective and be ready to listen as much as you speak.
For example, if you need to talk to someone about being late frequently, think about why it bothers you and what you hope will change.
Write down a few key points you want to cover. This can help you stay focused and calm during the conversation.
Choose the right setting
Pick a private and comfortable place to talk, like a quiet room or a place you feel calm. Make sure there are no distractions and that you have enough time to discuss everything without rushing.
Let the other person know you’d like to have a conversation and ask them when is a good time.
Consider having someone with you
You don’t have to do it alone. It’s okay to bring someone with you for support during the conversation. As a Client, this could be a trusted friend, family member, or another support worker. As a Support Worker, this could be another Support Worker on the team or a member of the Client’s family. Having someone there can provide emotional support and help you feel more comfortable. Choose someone who understands the situation and can offer calm, positive support. Discuss with them beforehand what role they will play in the conversation.
Use empathetic communication
Empathy is at the heart of Hireup's approach to difficult conversations. Start the conversation by expressing your understanding and concern for the other person's feelings and perspective. Use "I" statements and try to avoid “you” statements to express your thoughts and feelings without placing blame.
For example, "I feel concerned about how this situation is affecting our support relationship", is more constructive than "You're causing problems which are affecting our relationship."
Stick to facts and specific examples rather than broad statements. This makes your points clearer and less likely to be seen as personal attacks.
Be clear and direct
While it's important to be empathetic, it's just as important to be clear and direct about the issue at hand. Avoiding the main issue or sugar-coating your words can lead to confusion and further misunderstandings.
Try these three steps to be clear and direct in your conversation:
- Clearly state the issue
- Provide specific examples
- Explain the impact it's having on you
For example “When you interrupt me, it makes me feel like what I have to say is not important to you. An example of this was yesterday when I was telling you about my weekend away.”
Practise active listening
Active listening means fully concentrating on what is being said, rather than just passively hearing the message and thinking about how you will respond.
Show that you are actively listening by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and asking clarifying questions. Don’t interrupt the other person unless you are asking a clarifying question. This fosters a sense of respect and understanding, making it easier to navigate the conversation.
Collaborate on a solution
After discussing the issue, work together to find a solution. Ask for their input and ideas on how to resolve the situation. This collaborative approach helps to find a more effective solution and empowers the other person by reinforcing their value. Agree on actionable steps and a regular follow-up plan to review progress.
Follow up
One conversation may not solve everything. Plan to check in and discuss progress and any new concerns. This shows your commitment to resolving the issue and promotes ongoing improvement and open communication.